The triathelon

(there is video at the end of this post)
Today I ran a triathelon. A precurser and warm-up to Sunday's decathelon.

So if there is bad grammar or spelling in this post, so be it. The only reason I am awake is because I am waiting for C's call. I hope he calls. I can't stay awake much longer. (Now that I have typed this all up, I am coming back to apologize for the condition of it. it is what it is...that's just for you, dawn, LOL!)

Last night baby girl slept wonderfully all through the night. She went down at 8 in my arms with a bottle. She didn't even wake much when Daddy called at 10:30 or so. I was in the bathroom getting ready for bed and the phone was next to her crib and I flew over to that phone like only a woman with a sleeping baby can do. then I immediately told my hubby to be quiet while I waited to see what was going to happen. She sighed a little, moved about a bit, got up on all fours, and then was down for the count again. Daddy and I spoke in quiet tones. Daddy is going to have to start thinking about bedtimes...but I am in a suite now and the phone in the bedroom is unplugged except that after I talk with Daddy I will plug it in for the wake-up call.

I, however, did not sleep much. Anyone see that coming? I seemed to wake at her every sigh and movement. I more or less dozed for six hours. At 6, I was awake. At 6:30, I got up and showered. At 7ish, she was sort of awake. At 7:30, she was up. By 10:00 she was fed and dressed. I was dressed and surviving on a diet coke and a granola bar. We were both packed and I proceeded to strap my 18 pound baby to my chest, my 20 pound backpack to my back, slung my 10 pound diaper bag on one shoulder, grabbed the two rolling suitcases (one larger than carry-on size), and headed down to the lobby. Not impossible. Not terribly easy, either. But for a short distance and fresh in the a.m., it was an okay trial run.

Nastya met us inthe lobby at 10:15. N stayed strapped on to me in the car and slept most of the way to the airport. It was time for her morning nap, so that worked out. She doesn't love being in the Ergo for too long, but sometimes life sucks and she generally got over it. She is more whiney woth me today. Testing me more, I think. She is quick to express her displeasure at times, and also a little clingy, alhthough she will still go to anyone and everyone, especially women. Tried to get the flight atrendant that strapped her into the baby belt attachemnt today to pick her up. We are all mommies to her. It is impossible to spoil her at this point. She needs to learn what me being her mommy is about and the first step is to repeatedly satisfy her needs. This fulfills a circle of attachment and for bio babies, this happens thousands of times during their first year. We are starting anew. I do say "no, nyet!" to her when she is doing something I really don't want her to do, and sometimes she seems to understand it, although she rarely complies. But my most important job as a parent right now, other than keeping her safe and fed, is to promote bonding and attachment, so I meet her needs whenever possible. Whenever possible does NOT mean, however, that she gets out of the Ergo everytime she whines about it. Just can't do it. The Ergo is essential to the plan to get us home sane and in our one respective pieces.

The flight went REALLY well. She flew like a trooper. Chip off the old block, and she has the advantage of not needing Bonine. No car or air sickness. She had woken from her nbap and was ready for lunch, so I gave her formula as we took off and then fed her baby food on the plane. We had the whole bulkhead row to ourselves, only it was better than bulkhead because all there was was a curtain between me and the first class seats in front of me and I could stow my diaper bag there for storage. Helpful people (usually men) helped me get on the plane. On these samara/Moscow Aeroflot flights, you don't use a jet way. A tram takes you to your plane. A man gave me his seat...although N would have preferred I remain standing. Ergo+sitting=unhappiness. Then another man took my backpack for me and ushered me to the front of the crowd (Aeroflot boarding is every-man-for-himself...no boarding by rows or classes or elite members or babies first or anything. a crowd pushes forward. You fend for yourself. Unless, evidently, you are a woman alone with a baby on a cold day). Of course, he boarded right behind me, which was great for him, but still. It was nice. He put my backpack in the overhead for me.

The flight would have been completely uneventful, I am sure, except that little N was sitting on my lap facing me getting fed while my uneaten "lunch" of a tiny ham sandwich and bag of trail mix sat on the tray table next to us. She suddenly took a header into the tray table and I know it hurt...and of course it scared the daylight out of her and THAT took a while to recover from. Girl has some lungs. She has a little red mark next to her right eye. I hope she doesn't bruise. Other than that, she seems to be fine. She took a sippy cup of apple juice and water on the way down...and cheerios and peach puffs. Those are becomng a a security blanket. When that little pink cup runs dry, like on the way to the grocery store tonight, watch out. Mommy will not go forth without reinforcements again. She loves the cup that is a trapper cup that she can stick her fingers into and self-feed from. It has little handles that stick out each side. She likes to stick her fingers in and wave it around. which defeats the trappng part, and we've lost moe than a few treats that way, but whatever.

I'm not sure she has ever had apple juice before. When I first gave iiit to her last night, I forgot to dilute it and she went into a nirvana state. the watered down version doesn't illicit the same response, but it's still acceptable. i'm not a big fan of giving her juice every day, but we aren't living in the best circumstances right now and if she likes it better than water, and it keeps her ears okay on planes, she can have all the juice her little heart desires. She has figured out the othetr sippy I brought which has a transition sippy on it that is softer and more like a bottle. Nuby? I htink. anyway, she can work that one.

I am so freaking tired.

So to deplane, I strapped girly-girl on again, assumed the backpack and diaper bag, rode to the terminal (with two people helping to carry the diaper bag and then backpack for me...folks really seem ready to help a lady with a ababy around here) and got my bags. Loaded up and left the baggage area and Zhanna practically sprinted over to help me. Did I mention that Nastya was a great help in Samara? They wouldn't let me get N through the metal detector until I had checked my bags, since Nastya was there to hold her. Soo I went through, got redressed, went over and checked my bags, then went back for N. Sunday it will be just me and her doing it alone. Twice. i knw they will make me go thorugh at least one security check at the gate when we transfer at Schipol.

Got in Zhanna's car and N went right to sleep again. time for her afternoon nap. About 30-45 minutes later she awoke suddenly and cried. She was hot, i htink. I was in short sleeves and the Ergo with a bay in it is like a radiator and she was in her little sweatsuit, long sleeve onsie, leg warmers, socks, and shoes. But that is the bare minimum I could get away with, dressing wise around here. And the car was like a sauna. No air on. So she was upset and I let her out of the Ergo into my lap (I ride in the back seat with her) and she was still fussy and happy alternately and then she peed all over my leg. I had left the bags and N with Zhanna at the Moscow terminal while I ran to the bathroom (I have not done the bathroom alone with her, the diaper bag, and the backpack....there is plenty of time to suffer through that Sunday). I knew at the time I should probaly check her diaper, but I knew that Moscow bathrooms are not generlaly diaper-friendly. I changed her in the samara airport in the corner of the terminal on the concrete floor on her little portable changing mat with my jacket under her head. believe me when I say that bathrooms here are rarely adult freindly and even less likely to be baby friendly.

I don't know if the Russian Pampers failed me or if her diaper was already wet and full from the flight and this was overflow. I suspect the latter. My fault for not changing her after the flight. But a little pee never hurt anyone. I hear urine is sterile.

So I whipped out one of the two exta outfits I had with me and changed her in the backseat and she was happy and generally okay and then when we got to the hotel I strapped her on again and went inside and Zhanna mercifully took care of my bags. Zhanna is really amazingly helpful. She is my Moscow translator and she also handles some of the general sttuff that goes on (like paperwork) and she has been doing this for forever it seems (although she is not that old...maybe my age) and she just handles stuff well. And is calm...and understanding...and friendly.

So we checked in and Zhanna helped get us up to the room and we did a llittle business whil N enjoyed the freedome to run rampant and then Zhanna left and it was 5ish? I never kept real good track of time today. And Mommy saw the cookies and apple and complementary water left on the coffee table for her and nearly wept with joy. Those were the BEST four little cookies. The apple is still there. I will tackle it another time. N needed a snack, so I sat her down and did the feed/look around/feed/play with the spoon/feed dance. She is not as passive now as she was at first and she likes to grab hold of the spoon with her teeth and play tug of war and grab the spoon with her hand and blow bubbles with food in her mouth and genrally hae a great time. which is fine except when mommy is barely hanging on as it is and wants this feeding thing to not last an excessive wmount of time. But we made it and had a good time while doing it. mostly. she had a great time...I survived.

So the grocery store was the first order, after scoring more rubles, so I went to the ATM down the road we used here before and then headed to the grocery store, but I was on the wrong road and I walked almost all the way down it and then I realized it didn't look right, so I walked back to Lesnaya and it was the light I thought it was and then I decided I hadn't walked far enough the first time, so I walked down it AGAIN and even farther (I don't know miles....it was 4 "blocks" or so, whateve rthat might be and N was OVER the Ergo and I let her out to walk some and carried her without it and put her back in. Rinse, lather, repeat. But it was also very cold and I had her in a n earflap hay and two layers including her hoodie and that is fine int he Ergo but probaly not enough alone, so I didn't let her out for too long. Then I decided I had gone down the wrong of two roads, so I crossed over and came back up and there it was, the freking grocery store that should have taken me 10 minytes and it took an hour and I strapped her in again and blew through the grocery store as fast as possible picking uup baby food, yogurt for her an me, a couple of pastry type things for me, DR. PEPPER for me (yes, they had dr. Pepper in cans. i almost peed myself with excitement), and still mineral water. HI tthe check out, headed back to the hotel. N was NOT liking the Ergo at this point and whimpered and cried all the way back...about 3 blocks. We got to the lobby, I stripped off the heavy backpack full of groceries, the jacket that is the heaviest one I have got that I have been cursing because lugging her and the backpack all around the world is HOT work even in 40 degree temps, undid the Ergo, put her in a chair, and she was happy as a bug in a rug.

came upstairs, unpcked the groceries into the little fridge, cracked open a Dr. Pepper like a meth addict looking for a fix, changed a wet diaper, sat her down again, fed her again, did the feeding dance again, bathed her in the bathroom sink, gave her a bottle she wasn't interested in, changed the only poopy diaper of today, which looked better than yesterday's, but stunk just as much...I don't remember other children's diapers smelling this bad. Played with her on the bed in the low light, cuddled, tried to get her calm, succeeded only in making her hyper, put her in the crib, sat next to it in the dark on the bed trying desperately to stay awake while she toddled, looked at me, talked to me, looked again, burrowed, looked at me, burrowed, looked, burrowed, repeat ad nauseum until she finally fell asleep after several minutes.

Unplugged the phone in there from the jack, closed the door while leaving the bathroom one cracked for light for her, came in here (I'm in a suite) cleaned up the dinner mess, said hallelujah for the "bar" where there is a sink and electric kettle, washed nipples and her spoon. the Playtex drop-in bottles are perfect. No bottle cleaning on the run. Just drop in a bag, fill it, and feed. I did clean the nipples tonight by putting each in a mug and pouring boiling water over them. It's not perfect, but it will do.

ordered room service, put away her dirty clothes and washed the washcloth I brought with me that I have been using to clean up any and everything (tasha, I brought one of the ones you gave me and I wish I had them all...they are great...I know they are supposed to be for washing her, ut they work so well as a general clean-up) got room service, tried to log on, claled the desk for help, they delivered a cord because I couldn't go down there, got on-line, ate my penne pasta carbonara with brown bread and drank the complimentary carbonated water, typed all this up (I can't get to Facebook right now...not sure if it is down or if it is the access I have here). Talked to C a few minutes ago. Told him I love him and I really, REALLY miss him, and have managed to upload most of my video because the cable connection here is awesome. So here is some feeeding video of Miss N.

I just had to go comfort her twice int he last few minutes. I don;'t knwo if she will sleep as well tonight as last night.

The doctor is coming at 7:30 am tomorrow to do her embassy-required physical and then we don't have to be anywhere until 1:15 Friday. hallelujah.

I am going to post these videos and go get ready for bed...and eep trying to figure out why I have bruises all over the back of my left hand....tomorrow I will post more vid and some photos.