So I beat my brother this last weekend by quite a bit

My cousin the smartass wrote this and posted it on our league board. Pretty ballsy of him, considering I beat him handily in the second game of the season. I only hope I can win against him this weekend. He's tough some weeks, though, with Peyton Manning as his QB. He seems to make the biggest deal out of all the guys of the fact that I am of the female persuasion. I mostly just feel sorry for his wife, given his misogynistic leanings.

The only reason his little sister hasn't beaten him in FF is because he doesn't have one...but he has been beaten quite a few times by his little brothers.

I'm copying it in as is...typos and mis-spellings intact.


A Confessionby: The Verdict
Nov 13 7:28pm
The Scene: A short, bespectaled Texan enters the confession booth. Father O'Reilley, hearing confessions today, says "Bless you, son, what sins have you committed?"

The subsequent colloquy occurs:

T: It is a most grievous sin, Father.
F: Bearing false witness?
T: Far worse.
F: Stealing?
T: If only.
F: Coveting thy neighbor's wife or ass? (Thinking to himself "aren't they the same thing?").
T: I have no neighbors.
F: Murder?
T: No.
F: What could it possibly be? What sin did you commit that was so bad?
T: My little sister beat me in fantasy football. I broke the commandement that says that no girl should ever, ever, ever, ever beat a guy in anything sports-related. She not only beat me, she kicked my ass. And I'm her older brother.
F: Are you serious?
T: Yes.
F: Jesus Christ. What is your name?
T: I thought this was supposed to be confidential.
F: Rudy, there are only about a hundred people in this parish, about sixty who come every weekend, and ten who still go to confession. I know everybody's voice.
T: Really?
F: Yeah, really.
T: Hmm. Well, what should I do to atone for my sin?
F: Short of having your balls cut off, I can't think of anything. Do you still have balls?
T: Yes. At least I think so.
F: Well, since you work at the hospital, I'd suggest you go tere and determine 1) whether you have balls, and 2) how they can be removed.
T: Thank you Father.
F: You're welcome. Now get your sorry ass out of here. Mrs. Atkinson is next. This should be really good.

See what I have to deal with?

I had high points of the week and would have beaten anyone in my league, including the smartass. I've had the hardest strength of schedule (most average points of my opponents) and am still managing to hang in at #4. My team is healthy right now and I am hoping it stays that way....my brother Rudy is just behind me in the standings. He bested me in the first game if the season, so I consider this win a leveling out of sorts.