I can't even cry at this point

I'm just....I don't know if numb is still the right word. you know how when you have an accident or something traumatic happens or you get bad news and you just sort of go into shock...into auto mode? Your heart drops into your stomach and you don't burst into tears...you just go into auto-pilot? That's where I am. Auto-pilot.

Our potential court date of September 10th has been postponed. Oksana (our coordinator in Russia) did not go to Uzbekistan because her grandpa died. The agency tried to track her down today to see what the status was and found out she hadn't even gone because of the emergency with her grandpa. We don't know when she will be going. The agency will apply pressure, but we don't know when the funeral is, or what is really going on. We may find out more tomorrow. Hopefully by Monday.

We don't even know if The Letter exists at this point or if she will have to start from scratch trying to procure it when she gets there. Is it done and just sitting on someone's desk? Is it done and lost on someone's desk? Is it done and mailed and lost in the postal system over there? Was it never done to begin with and they've just been telling the agency it is done in order to save face and not deliver disappointing news? We have NO idea and won't until Oksana goes and finds out.

Our agency director called personally to deliver the bad news. He's beside himself. The parent agency is beside themselves. I'm not blaming them or angry, even. I'm just...I don't know.

I'm going to go crawl under a rock now....