Q&A

I get a lot of the same questions when I tell people about our plans to adopt, so I figured I'd answer some of them here.

Why China?
We knew as soon as we started talking about adoption that the international route was the best for us at this time. I know folks have experienced many successful domestic adoptions, but I'm not a big fan of domestic adoption for us right now. There is a lot of emphasis in the U.S. on biological rights and the thought that a bio parent can either change her mind at the last minute, change her mind a few months after we've gotten our child, or surface at a later date and claim paternity just scares the living daylights out of me. I don't think I could take it. Of the international programs, China appeals to us because the program is run by the Chinese govt and is not a private adoption process. It is a very predictable process and free of corruption. Chinese children available for adoption are generally quite healthy and there is also virtually no chance of biological parents coming forth later to assert parental rights. For these reasons and a general "feel", we have chosen to pursue Chinese adoption for our first child. We may chose another route at a later date depending on where we are then.

How does it work?
We have chosen a large adoption agency here in Texas that specializes in Chinese adoption. Great Wall China Adoption. Because Great Wall HQ is in Texas, they were able to set up our homestudy and since they have a lot of Texas clients, we will be part of an overall Great Wall community in the DFW area of adoptive parents. Our daughter will know many other adoptive families that are like hers. So far I am very happy with GWCA. I received my first e-mail from my regional contact within hours of requesting an application. They do a good job of keeping in touch, with weekly e-mails from my dossier consultant and a family-only portion of their website where I can access tips and forms and most of what I need 24/7.

GWCA will be our guide for this process. They help us put together our dossier, they submit it to the Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs, and they will receive the referral from the CCAA that they then pass on to us. They will arrange our travel within China and provide a guide for us while we are there who will also move us through the final adoptive process on Chinese soil.

Once we submitted our application to GWCA, and were accepted by them, we started the paperchase in earnest. This is where we are now. Halfway through our homestudy appointments, birth certificates and marriage verification ordered. Doctor's appointments made. There is a long list of documents required for our dossier:
Application letter
Birth certificates
Marital Status document
Certificate of Financial status
Employment/Unemployment Status letters (I will have to provide a notarized letter stating that I am a homemaker!)
Police letter/reports
Citizenship and Immigration Services (CIS) Approval (to bring a Chinese child into the U.S.)
Passport copies
Passport photos
Lifestyle photos (6-10 photos of us, our home, etc.)
Cover letter

There's a reason they call this the "paperchase".

Most of these items have to be notarized, certified by the Texas (or California, in the case of Corey's birth certificate) Secretary of State, and then authenticated by the Chinese Consulate in Houston.

How long will all this take?
It generally takes 6 months or so to get the dossier submitted. Once GWCA gets it and decides it is all in order, they will send it to the CCAA. When the CCAA logs it in, this is called the "log-in date" (LID), or the "dossier to China date" (DTC). This is the date we will then live and die by, as this determines the order in which we will get our referral. The referral is the information sent to us about the child chosen for us by the CCAA. A couple of years ago, referrals were coming 6-9 months from DTC, but the wait now is more like 14 months. We expect it to go up to as much as 18-24 months, shortly. Why? Because the number of applications exceeds the number of available children. Not all Chinese orphans are available for international adoption and the things that attracted us to China have attracted many hopeful parents-to-be. The Chinese govt. issued tighter restrictions on prospective adoptive parents, and that may eventually lessen the wait, but there may be a heavier than usual influx of applications this month trying to beat the deadline of the new restrictions taking effect May 1, so there will likely be many more people ahead of us in line than usual. I hope to get our dossier together and submitted by or in August.

Once you submit to China, is it a done deal?
Pretty much. Although we will have to get through the "review room" at the CCAA. Our agency here helps us get our stuff together, and they approve our dossier to be sent, but they do not decide, at the end, whether or not we are suitable to adopt. The CCAA has the final word and we could, conceivably, be rejected once our dossier reaches the "review room". From what I understand, this is very rare and the last time it happened was because of a medical problem with one of the prospective parents.

How is your child chosen for you?
This is a subject of great interest to us, obviously, and I found a great website where one lady was able to tour the CCAA offices and actually go to the "matching room" and take photos: http://www.wesselsworld.nl/ccaa.htm

Do you have to travel to China?
Yep. About two weeks. It will be exhausting and wonderful. When GWCA receives our referral, they will announce that the stork has landed for parents with DTC dates of xxx. Then I will carry my cell phone around and eagerly await the call telling me my daughter's Chinese name, where she is, where she was born, her vital statistics, and other info. Then they will send us e-mails with her photo. At least one, sometimes up to three. After we accept the referral, we wait for our travel dates and will probably travel within 6 weeks of our referral. We will arrive in Beijing, do a little cultural touring there, then be united with our child within a few days of arriving in China. This is called the "Gotcha! Day". We will most likely go to her province to receive her and do some touring and have a couple of days there in the province of her birth, getting to know her and starting to bond with her. Then we go down to Guangzhou, which is a bit like Ellis Island in reverse. All the internationally adopted babies must go through there. We will be going to appointments at the U.S consulate, getting her the requisite medical exam for entry into the U.S., etc. This whole time we will be focused on her, getting to know her, letting her get to know us, and shopping. ;-)

Then after only knowing her for about 10 days, our first difficult parenting test will come on the 20 or so hour journey back to the states. We'll be about as initiated as any new parents, I am sure.

Can you only get a girl from China? How old will she be?
Boys are available, although the wait may be longer. We are eligible (by age) to adopt a baby less than 1 year old. We have requested a girl. We did not request twins. Babies are never less than six months at referral and are usually around 10-12 months. We are "expecting" a child between maybe 10-14 months, but we really have no idea exactly how old she will be.

There is an unfortunate term out there that has come up when people find out I am adopting from China. Throwaway babies. I can't begin to tell you how offensive this is, although I know the people saying it don't mean to be derisive. But how would you like YOUR child to be referred to as trash?

China has a one child policy. Technically, city dwellers are restricted to one child. Families in rural areas may have two if their first is a girl. Some folks can afford to pay the fee for a second child. This seems barbaric to us in the U.S. Maybe it is barbaric. I don't know. I do know that when Corey goes to China on business he is consistently floored by the number of people there. New York City has around 8.2 million residents. Shanghai has a population of more than 20 million. 20 million. Corey says that the city is a sea of highrise buildings as far as the eye can see, almost all of them apartments. We've been in a lot of places, done a lot of traveling, and Corey says he has never seen anything close to it. Beijing has a population of over 15 million. 20 million and 15 million, folks. And that is just two cities in China.

Chinese citizens don't have the benefit of much social security or 401Ks. When you grow old in China, you'd better have a son to help take care of you. If you have a daughter and she is married, her first responsibility is to her husband's parents. Boys also carry on the family name and are desired for that reason. This may seem wrong to many Americans, but let's face it, the Chinese civilization has been around a long time and we're talking about thousands of years of tradition and socioeconomic conditions. This is not going to change easily. The Chinese govt is now re-evaluating their policy, from recent reports. The uneven population growth has huge implications not just socially, but politically as well.

So yes, girls are more available for adoption. I can't imagine how hard it is to give birth to a girl, think she is the most beautiful little girl in the world, know you can't keep her, and then put your baby down near a walkway or market area and watch from your hiding place, hoping that someone will take pity on her and take her to a hospital or orphange. It is illegal to abandon a child in China. They don't have the "safe haven" laws that we do. I can't pass judgment on these parents. They do what they have to do and what they feel must be done. It must be heartbreaking for them.

Would you like to read more about what adopting from China is really like? I like this site and check in regularly to "visit" with other adoptive families who are sharing their journeys on-line: http://www.myadoptionwebsite.com/chinaadoptionstories.htm

There is one story there that makes me smile every time I read it...http://www.myadoptionwebsite.com/LG/trip020207.htm