Suitable

The second meeting with the social worker yesterday went well. Fast and easy. Just a few clarifications. (How on earth am I supposed to remember what month and year I had hernia surgery? It was 1995ish. That's all I know. I don't even remember the name of my doctor.). And apparently she liked what we had to say about the values we want to instill in our child, how we plan to raise her, our hopes and dreams for her. My self-professed moodiness did not disqualify me. The first thing expected of me before I am deemed fit to parent is, apparently, introspection.

The whole process is daunting. You submit all sorts of paperwork and everything must be approved, certified, authenticated, and deemed suitable. Including Corey and me. I wonder how many first time pregnant mothers have given half as much thought to their parenting philosophy as I have, much less written it down for inspection. I know all this is necessary, and I know why they want to check me out before letting me adopt, but it does get to you a little. If I were to get pregnant, I'd have to come just this side of killing my kids before they'd take them away. As if somehow being pregnant imparts some sort of special knowledge or ability. That whole "I gave birth to her, therefore I always know what is best for my kid" thing that drives me nuts. Being an active, involved parent helps you know what is best, but there are no guarantees you are always right, and the simple act of giving birth does not, on its own, impart any special knowledge or wisdom. Hamsters give birth. And some of them eat their young.

I think any child would be lucky to have us as parents. We're good people. We've lived a lot of life and are ready to settle down with kids. We both give a lot of forethought to our actions and the consequences thereof. Neither of us thrives on controversy, snarkiness, or gossip. We are both open-minded and willing to learn and grow. We are charitable and try to be empathetic to others. We have a great house. We can financially provide all that is necessary and more.

Two long years. I hope the wait isn't that long. Now that I'm moving along in this, hurrying to get this stage done, I know that it will be followed by a lengthy wait beyond my control. My friends with traditional pregnancies are usually anxious that the baby doesn't come too soon. Mine won't come soon enough.