All hail the return of LOST

Yes, I am a Lostie.

No, I did not fall off the earth or get transported back to 1976.

Yes, my hard drive crashed and I've had internet access, but on a crappy computer that drives me nuts to type on.

No, I have not done a file back-up since sometime right after our last hard drive crash in May of last year.

No, we could not recover a single thing from the hard drive this time around.

And then when we got our laptop back tonight, it wasn't long before we realized a screw is literally missing from it and it's coming apart at the folding part and I just hope it isn't permanantly cracked or broken because C didn't realize what was going on and I think he forced it although he denies that, but dude, this looks forced to me. It doesn't look good right now. Can't close the laptop. Will take back to Best Buy tomorrow to get them to fix it.

In the meantime, if you watch LOST, you will love this. If you don't watch LOST, you need to spend the weekend watching all five seasons because the long-awaited beginning of the end starts Tuesday!


How To Make a Sandwich on the Island…

Jack

Gather ingredients
Point gun at ingredients and shout “HOW DO I MAKE A SANDWICH OUT OF YOU?!?!?”
Breathe heavily through your nose as though you were about to hit ingredients
Give up and make the sandwich yourself, and eat it bitterly

Kate

Make separate sandwiches, one with peanut butter and one with jelly
Take a bite of the peanut butter sandwich, declaring it the best
Take a bite of the jelly sandwich, declaring it the best
Repeat steps 2 and 3 ad infinitum
Follow peanut butter or jelly sandwich into grave danger

Sawyer

Throw the jar of jelly at wall, sneering “I don’t need no sandwich”
Call the mascot on the jar of peanut butter lots of clever nicknames
Huff and puff and stomp around and grumble a lot
When no one’s looking, make perfect, even, symmetrical peanut butter and jelly sandwich and sit in a corner, enjoying every bite

Locke

Sit idly by, believing that the ingredients will find a way to make a sandwich out of themselves
Lose faith and make the sandwich anyway
Realize that you were the instrument by which the ingredients chose to make a sandwich after all
Run around the room and grab everyone’s knives, insisting that their sandwiches will do the same in time

Hurley

Make sandwich
Eat sandwich
Repeat steps 1 and 2 ad infinitum

Sayid

Procure 23 milligrams of uranium-20
Set hadron supercollider to eight megajoules
Program a sandwich-making macro using Cobol or Visual Basic
Act all tough-like

Desmond

Eat sandwich
Call the sandwich “brother”
Place peanut butter slice over jelly slice
Spread jelly on the other slice
Spread peanut butter on one slice
Take two slices of bread, a jar of peanut butter and a jar of jelly

Ben

Steal someone else’s sandwich
Claim you coerced them into making the sandwich for you all along
Say you’ll tell them everything if they make you another sandwich
Stare at them all creepy-like

Libby

Lay out plans for one of the most intricate, fascinating, and delicious sandwiches of all time
Just as you start making it, get shot

Danielle

Apply peanut butter
Disappear for eight months
Apply jelly
Disappear for eight months
Eat sandwich

Claire
1. Mmmmmmm, peanut butter

Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse

Make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich
Have someone take a bite, then tell them it’s a baloney sandwich
Make up a whole bunch of other shit, then say you had planned it all along
Buy a few yachts

Oh, and for good measure:

Five seasons in five minutes