My tax dollars at work

This has been a busy week. Appointments, errands, paperwork, housework.

Yesterday I typed up a very polite, very respectful letter to the local police department requesting the police clearance letters we need. I detailed out the specific requirements of the Russian government per my agency, gathered up proof of our social security numbers (I had to do this last year, so I remembered that), copies of our birth certificates, and trotted off to the police department. After waiting a good five minutes for someone to answer the bell I dinged on under the glass partition at the records desk, then waiting for her to go get the correct lady, I was across the glass from a different woman than the one I dealt with last year.

I gave my letter to her and politely explained why I was there, telling her that the letter explained specifically what Russia required. She asked for our driver's licenses. I had mine, obviously, but C had his at work. I asked if she could make copies of our passports since I had both of them in my purse and she looked at me like I had horns and dismissively told me that of course passports wouldn't work, it had to be driver's licenses and without them they could do nothing. I wonder what they would have done if one of us didn't drive, but kept my mouth shut.

Then she started skimming the letter and questioning the requirements. These are not difficult requirements. These are the exact names that must be used to match our passports. No abbreviations. Dates need to be written out longhand (Ex. November 18, 1968). If they would list the cities we were born in, great...if not, please state that they will not, since the issue needs to be addressed in the letter. None of this is rocket science.

In a not-so-friendly tone, she told me they only do form letters for this, and modifying the letters was just not done and the ones they did should suffice and who told me that Russia had all these requirements? I replied that my adoption agency gave me paperwork that lays out all the requirements for various documents I need to collect. She acted disbelieving and told me that they would need a copy of the paperwork saying that all these modifications were necessary.

wtf?

Cuz that's how I get my kicks, y'all...I make up crazy-assed requirements so government employees have to work harder.

Either that, or I am too stupid to interpret what my agency is telling me.

Those are really the only two options I can come up with for how to take her demand. But I couldn't argue with her about it. I need these four pieces of paper and she was not the lady to piss off about it.

So then I showed her the SS# proof I had included. We don't have our cards...I think I accidentally threw them away when we lived in Holland. I had them when we went there and didn't have them when we came home and usually kept them in a desk there, so I don't know what happened. But when I did this with China, I took investment tax forms and W-2's with the dollar amounts blacked out and that worked fine, so I did that this time. She was okay with it, but seemed confused.

Then I pointed out the birth certificate copies in case they would agree to state where we were born. She looked at the copies and dismissively told me that they were just copies and she couldn't tell anything from then and I offered to get her originals (I didn't bring originals with me because I was in a hurry and I think there might be some around the house, but I am not entirely sure where right now. The copies were readily available. Copies were good enough for the homestudy social worker, so I thought I'd try copies. I don't have to purchase copies.)

Her tone was, again, a lot less than friendly. She told me that wouldn't make any difference and birth cities are not part of the form letter and that wasn't what they "do" and she then told me that I was going to have to find some other way to prove my birth to Russia because they were not going to do that for me. (Yeah, thanks so much for that advice, lady, I don't know how I'd muddle through the international adoption process without you. Never mind the fact that I am proving my birth eight ways to Tuesday in other paperwork and I'm not making the rules. Russia is.) I smiled and bit my tongue practically all the way off and told her my agency had told me that some police departments won't do the cities, and that if mine won't, please insert a sentence to that effect.

She then reiterated that she really needed to see those instructions from my agency as modifying the letter was terribly inconvenient and unheard of.

Y'all, I've seen this letter. I have a copy in my bedroom drawer as part of the China dossier. This is a five sentence letter, at most, that says I do not have a police record in this city based on the information I have provided and nothing else can be construed from their statement that I do not have a police record in this city. It is a weird document, but it is not a complicated document.

It took every fiber of my being not tell this lady off, but I managed to restrain myself and thank her and I took my paperwork and went to go call C about getting a copy of his license.

That was at 3:30. He wasn't answering (in a meeting), so I left a message on his desk phone and went to make the required 6 color copies of each of our passports. (Which, btw, list the state where we were born.)

Just before 4pm, I heard from C, battled rush hour to his office, battled rush hour home to get the agency paperwork, and got back to the police dept at 4:30. Thankfully I literally live around the corner. They close at 5pm. Of course, the boss lady I had spoken with earlier had already left for the day. Figures.

So another lady came out, the one who had gotten the boss earlier in the day and this woman took the paperwork. I had to go through the whole thing again, pointing out the cover letter that had all our relevant information on it and showing her what pages of the agency info to copy for their "proof". She argued with me about the social security stuff, not able to understand that I didn't have our cards. "I need your cards." "I don't have cards. I've used this in the past to prove our SS# and it has worked." "You don't have a social security number?" "I have a social security number. I do not have my card. I lost it." "You don't have a card?" No, Dumbass, I don't have my card. Okay, so I didn't say that.

Finally comprehending that I didn't have cards, she lectured me about getting replacements (yeah, I'll get right on that....so sue me) and then stapled everything together with a sheet of blank paper on top. She then asked how long we've lived in our town. I pointed out on the letter where I had listed our addresses for the last two years. "We moved into XXX Yyyyyyy in 2006. Before that, we lived at XXX Zzzzzz from 1997-2006. Both addresses are in MyTownUSA." It was all there in plain English.

As she wrote '06 down on th eblank paper I said, I'm sorry, but we moved here in 1997. "No, you moved here in 2006." "Actually, we moved to our current address in 2006. We moved to MyTownUSA in 1997." She points to the paragraph. "You didn't move here until 2006." "If you'll read the second sentence, we moved here in 1997 and then moved to a different house in 2006." She starts getting loud. "Right, you moved to MyTownUSA in 2006." "No, we moved to MyTownUSA in 1997. We moved to our current address in 2006."

"Oh, I get it...I had 2007 in my head."

???

Then she asked for a number to call when the report came in. I told her it was on the cover letter, under my signature. "Oh, we won't look at that."

???

Whatever. I gave her my number, and she wrote it down on the blank sheet next to 1997 and said that when the letter came in and was signed by the guy who signs stuff, they would call me. Normally it takes 2-3 days, but since I was requesting all this special stuff, it would probably take twice as long. I'm dreading picking this thing up and possibly seeing errors that have to be corrected.

Seriously, folks, I am NOT, generally, a difficult person. I'm laid back. I'm respectful. I'm friendly. Until you insinuate that I either make stuff up or am too stupid to read instructions. The lady I got my police clearances for China from last year was wonderful. Friendly. Smiled. Congratulated me on our adoption journey.

These ladies? Impossible bitches. Both of them.

Today I was going to tackle the property ownership verification letter I have to request from the county recorder of deeds, but I just couldn't stomach the possibility of another encounter like yesterday. I'll have to go deal with it Monday.

I should be off to bed. My oldest brother is flying in at 8:30 in the morning and then I am driving him to my parents', spending the weekend, and coming back Sunday in time to veg out and watch football all day after dropping Rudy off at the airport near my house. I have been knitting. I really need to take some photos and share, as I have some new stuff otn and some new FO's. But I've got to go get some sleep...

Oh, and the best part of all of this? The police clearance letters are only good with Russia for three months, so when we go to court (and that will definitely be more than three months from now), I will have to request new letters. Joy. At least then I will be able to give them back the exact letter they gave me and request that they simply repeat it. I'm sure, though, that I'll get an earful on why I didn't just wait to get it the first time because having to do it again is completely unreasonable. I can't wait.

As an upside, while going through all the document instruction and paperwork with my dossier consultant Wednesday, she said that she hopes we are done with this in six months.

Holy crap. Six months. It's possible.